Hogs Trip 2021 Alabama
Day 1 Friday 6th August Jamesville New York to Indiana Pennsylvania 334 miles (538km)
Day 2 Saturday 7th August Indiana PA to Bluefield West Virginia 360 miles (580km)
Day 3 Sunday 8th August Bluefield WV to Gatlinburg Tennessee 215 miles (346km)
Day 4 Monday 9th August Riding in the local area approx. 200 miles (322km)
Day 5 Tuesday 10th August Gatlinburg TN to Birmingham Alabama 300 miles (483km)
Day 6 Wednesday 11th August Riding in the local area approx. 200 (322km)
Day 7 Thursday 12th August Birmingham AL to Bristol Virginia 370 miles (596km)
Day 8 Friday 13th August Bristol TN Somerset Pennsylvania 385 miles (620km)
Day 9 Saturday 14th August Somerset PA to Jamesville New York 371 miles (597km)
Total miles approx. 2,735 (4,401km)
August 2021. Alabama.
What a great trip. Nine days of hard riding. 2,625 miles (4,225 kilometers) including a “non-ride day” where we only rode for 55 miles (88 kilometers) to the world’s largest motorcycle museum. The museum had hundreds and hundreds of motor bikes and some cars that covered over five enormous floors. There was a racetrack next door to the museum with a Porsche race school racing around the track.
An amazing collection of motorbikes.
You could spend days looking at the bikes and reading all the descriptions,
All we know is when we start the trip is what town we are
sleeping at each night. We all just basically follow the ass in front. Mike T (“Bobby”
to the group) leads most of the time if not all. He plans the route, books the
hotels and generally finds very interesting roads. The rest of us just follow.
This year he started with six riders, then seven, then nine, then ten, back to nine,
eight, seven and finally six. A lot of calls to book and cancel rooms.
The fearless leader, Notice no mustard.
We have had other ride leaders but generally Mark is the
best. (I will deny this comment if asked) He sticks to around the speed limit, is
very well paced and overtakes very safely. He is also very good a dodging rain,
hailstorms and tornadoes. This year we only had one shower and a few drops. The
last day was to be in rain all the way but hardly a drop.
We always ride staggered and the distance between bikes is generally
the two or three seconds. Generally we bunch up so that cars do not enter the
group and they have to wait and go behind us. I think cars trying to merge are
the most dangerous. This year we added a extra safety step to avoid cars trying
to come down the inside lane. The second last rider stays in the right lane
until we are all overtaking the slow vehicle. Worked like a charm. A few times
some aggressive drivers tried not to let me in but a mean look slowed them down.
If they get to close to my rear I put on my brake for a second and this sends
them back to a safe distance.
We try and point out objects on the road with a foot.
Occasionally we will point out something interesting on the landscape but
sometimes it is confused with stretching or just playing silly buggers.
I always ride at the rear for safety. I have the best
looking bike and under the full face helmet I look pretty mean. I watch for
merging cars or cars who ride up too close. I always back them down. Most cars
and particularly trucks are well aware of us. Who would dare mess with a bunch
of ruff tuff bikers?
I always have the GPS turned on so I know where we are going
if we get separated. (which has only happened once.)
We tend to gather around the bikes in the morning about
eight and start riding at about nine. There is always a bit of banter about
being on time. I always get up early, pack, clean the windscreen, maybe get gas
or have breakfast and pick on any late comers.
We then sit around, smoke cigars and shoot the breeze until
we are all ready to ride,
We stop for gas and lunch and sometimes we stop at
interesting spots but we generally just ride. We visit the odd museum. Normally
we stop and a Harley dealer but this trip we did not require one repair or even
one part.
The boys gather at the bikes at night.
The days distance is normally around 250 miles and is at an
easy pace. We just about always get in well before dark unless we have had a
break down with one of the Hondas
The Food.
Dinner is at the best or closest restaurant that is available
but we always enjoy every meal and then return to the motel to sit around the
bikes drinking, smoking and telling lies. I’m normally the first to leave and
the others follow when they want.
We all take turns in buying dinner and lunches (except
takeaways) and at the end of the trip Mark T gets all the costs together and
divides the total amongst the group.
The food on the trip ranged from adequate to really good.
Like most trips we all ate too much. The dinner that night specialized in
smoked meat and the bartender suggest we try the sample platter that had a
selection of everything. Chicken, brisket, sausage, ribs etc. So much food. I
even had two margaritas!
Two funny incidents. The first was when Bobby suggested we
stop at Cracker Barrel. A chain of lower cost family style restaurants. I have
had a couple of bad experiences with the brand before but this time it was
surprisingly good. The second was with a chain called “Waffle House”. Normally
renowned for being bad. Everything is cooked on a griddle and seems to be laden
with fat. It filled a hole but one of the gang was not pleased. After that if
we had a good meal we would comment that “it was good but not as good as the
Waffle House”
The now famous Waffle House.
At one lunch stop at a subway the guys were giving me grief
about being the “old man”” and “dad will pay the bill” The server felt sorry
for me and ended giving me both a senior and police discount which ended up a
seven dollar discount on a thirty dollar charge.
The Hotels.
The hotels are almost always Holiday Inns or equivalent. This
trip we stayed at a Quality Inn that was anything but quality. Mark normally
books hotels close to interesting restaurants that are within walking distance
from the hotel. Only once in all the years we had to ride the bike to dinner. We
sometimes get Uber so the drinkers can drink.
Quality was an "over statement" at this inn.
The hotels were mainly holiday inns except two. The hotel in
Birmingham Alabama was nice but just a little “Fru-Fru” There was on-street
parking and we opted to use the valet parking undercover. They tried to charge
us for six spots when we only used two.
The other hotel was in Bristol Virginia and was a converted
flour mill. The rooms were small and only had one bed and one pull out. Being
the kind and generous person I am I volunteered to take the pull out but asked
for extra padding to avoid the “iron bar back” worked fine.
The meat sampler was a big hit with the boys. One heart attack coming up.
We have never been pulled over by the cops or have had an
argument with anyone. Only once have we had anything stolen (Amarillo Texas where
a rain suit and helmet were taken)
They really are a great bunch of guys. (Except for Rage,
Dilli. Bobby, Dudley and Deak) Different religious values, different economic
levels and most of them ugly but really just a bunch of guys who just want to
ride for ten days and take it as it comes.
At one of our first gas stops a young female cleaner was
discussing her work and family. Mark T asked her which bike she liked the most
and she proceeded to look at them all intently and finally said it was between
my bike and Mark Ts. Finally she chose Marks and do you think who reminded
everyone about it several times every day for the rest of the trip. (I think
she must have been on drugs that affected both her eyesight and sense of
taste.)
I think I’m the only one who hardly picks on everyone but
everyone picks on me. They are all jealous because I have the best-looking bike
that has never had a mechanical issue. I have a very much an Australian sense
of humor.
|
Previous
Trips |
|
|
Days Riding |
Miles |
Ave Miles Per Day |
|
|
1 |
2009 |
|
266 |
|||
|
2 |
2010 |
Pennsylvania area |
6 |
1,169 |
195 |
|
|
3 |
2011 |
Fly to Denver ride to Sturgis |
8 |
2,401 |
300 |
|
|
4 |
2012 |
Across America (part with Hogs) Add SLC to Sturgis for
group) |
9 |
2,534 |
282 |
|
|
5 |
2013 |
Florida |
|
9 |
2,805 |
312 |
|
6 |
2014 |
Novas Scotia |
10 |
2,784 |
278 |
|
|
7 |
2015 |
Smokey Mountains |
10 |
2,210 |
221 |
|
|
8 |
2016 |
Kentucky |
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
2017 |
New Mexico |
8 |
2,175 |
272 |
|
|
10 |
2018 |
Sturgis |
|
|
||
|
11 |
2019 |
Nashville |
|
9 |
2,559 |
284 |
|
12 |
2020 |
Kentucky |
|
9 |
2,237 |
249 |
|
13 |
2021 |
Alabama |
|
9 |
2625 |
292 |
Useless Information
On the trip I had stopped for 14 fill ups, used 61.12
gallons of gas at an average of $3.70 per gallon. Total gas bill $226.03.
Average mpg 43.5.
The group was started in 2007 or 2008 with four riders. I
have missed about two total rides as has most of the group except Mark T who
has only missed a few days.
The group is getting old. We had to ban discussion on hip
and knee replacements, incontinence etc. Too depressing.
The group is generally going to bed earlier. Starts are
still at the crack of noon. Or around 9.30 ish.
Ride Quotes
Mar T “’this is a gas and go” – first time on the trips we
actually did! No cigars or drinks
Most of us - “This food is good, but not as good as the
waffle House”
To Dilli - “Do you take a different route home from your
camp?” (After the DUI a few years ago.)
Rage - I don’t want to leave my money to my kids. I want to
spend it all” – “Do you mean tomorrow”
Mar T - “Next year I will have someone else make the room
bookings. Anyone but Tug.”
Mark T - “You are closer to death than any of us” Told to
Tug. (It did not cheer him up)
Steve to waitress - “Give Willie Nelson a hug”
There is always an issue at someone’s home whilst we are on a trip. Some more serious than others. The worst was Mar T’s wife Phyliss broke her hip while she was walking the dogs. On this ride Dilli’s wife rang and told him the refrigerator at home stopped working. At every stop Dilli had long conversations with his wife about what the issues were and what parts were needed. After a few days Mark T said to me to not ask Dilli what the latest news on the refrigerator was. Naturally that only increased my necessity to ask what was the latest news at every stop.
Dilli – looks like a drunk Santa.
In Alabama the boys were having a drink in the car park and
a hotel staff member who also was a police officer during the day suggested the
boys throw away the empty bottle of bourbon as it could be considered an open
container and they could be arrested. Apparently the police in Alabama are very
strict. The bottle disappeared very quickly.
Covid.
Before the trip we
had many texts amongst the group regarding Covid vaccinations and everyone in
the group had the injects but still mainly would wear masks at gas stations and
entry to dinners and lunches. The South had a terrible rate of Covid and the
lowest inoculation rate so we were always worried.
All businesses had signs for hiring staff and obviously most
were short staffed. This was particularly noticeable with regards to restaurant
staff and gas stations.
My taillight had a small crack in the lens and I had
temporarily fixed it with iPhone glass filler. It started cracking more so on
this trip I purchased a tube of super glue which left white strips down the
cracks. All I got from the group is how bad it was and I should be ashamed. I
think they all now I have the best looking bike and they were all jealous.
On the first nights in Gatlinburg Lodge we were standing
around the fire pit when a black bear wondered around below the terrace. I
texted my wife Susan and sent her a picture. She told me to be careful and I
texted her bac saying I had positioned myself being the other five guys to be
say. The next day behind the hotel a mother bear sat below a big tree whilst
her three baby cubs were sleeping in the top of the tree.
A little bear having a snooze whilst mom sat at the bottom of the tree.
All through the trip I was on tender hooks waiting to hear
if I had a grandson. “Little Fred” was born on
Tuesday the 17th August at nine pounds, eight ounces (ouch – more
than three times my weight at birth!) several days after the trip so all the
anxiety was for nothing.
Last year for the first few meals I produced a place car
which read “Reserved for a UHaul VIP customer” and placed it in front of Mark
T. This was in response to his UHaul ride when his bike had engine failure a
few years back, This trip on the first meals I handed the server a slip of
paper which asker her to ask the group who said the following quote and listed
two quotes. The quotes included:
“Where is the freaking deacon”
“Where did I park the U Haul”
“I’ll be back in ten minutes –
I promise – just going to the bathroom”
“Being Australian makes him
even sexier”
The servers enjoyed the
laughter and were more relaxed serving us and generally ended up being more
fun.
We seem to always be lucky with
weather. We either wait until it clears or all the storms are around us and we
stay dry. Mar T is very good at looking on the radar and predicting the path of
storms. On the last day of this trip we expected rain all day but we woke to
cloudy skies and it was a little cold but no rain. Mark T does not like the
cold so he had his jacket and two shirts on. He also had his heated seat and
hand grips on.
